I bumped into myself this weekend and I don’t like what I see! Pride. Self-sufficiency. I’ve been relying on my own strength and wonder why I feel exhausted? I know I am not alone; I am trying to juggle a job, husband, home, family, ministry, and there are just not enough hours in a day. The trouble comes when I listen to the lies..
Lie #1 - You’re not good enough
Lie #2 - You have to be perfect
Lie #3 - People won’t like you if you make mistakes
Lie #4 - You can avoid conflict by doing the right thing (it helps to remember that Jesus always did the right thing and He was always facing conflict of one kind or another)
The truth is, I will never be good enough, or perfect, and I will always make mistakes. And, conflict comes with the territory of being God’s child because He says in His word it will happen in this world. In my head I know my adequacy and confidence are in Christ alone; I just need that knowledge to travel daily, the twelve inches and settle deeply in my heart as well. He only asks that I have a tender spirit, willing to learn from my mistakes. Like David, maybe if I am responsive to His lessons, I will be a woman after God’s own heart.
I have never liked conflict. I think I am quick to avoid it at all costs, but I wonder if there are lessons I am skirting because I fear them. Conflict is uncomfortable and often messy, but I think God will give me the grace to be able to face it with confidence if I ask for His help.
I’ve done a lot of wrestling over the last few days. I still need to settle things so that I know I am believing His truth over the lies of the enemy that have been ingrained since I was a little girl. I know I make progress at times, and then fall back into the old pattern again. Oh, for His grace and mercy to overflow and overcome, giving me victory one day at a time.
The enemy loves it when I believe His lies and twisted truths. And, I am determined not to allow him to cloud my mind and clutter my heart so that I become ineffective and discouraged. Christ came to free me from the hold of the enemy, and promises abundant life to all who believe. He transforms and renews my mind to right thinking; kingdom thinking; all for His glory and by the power that raised Jesus from the dead!
All He asks of me is, surrender.