Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Do you have a difficult time saying no?

All my life I've struggled with saying no because I don’t like to disappointing people. Part of this is because I want people to like me. I don't want to appear selfish. And, I want to look good in the eyes of others.

Mmmm. . .  Is that called People Pleasing?

The older I get, the more I realize I need to say NO in order to say YES to the important things. I've also discovered that most people are gracious when I do.

Sometimes I need to say NO so I can say YES to God. (Click to Tweet)

Saying No is the Best Option when I Need to:
Protect What I Value
Family time.
Plans for fitness or to work on a project.
Healthy eating.
Rest - time to recharge.
Writing that book...or pursuing a goal.

Seeking God first so I can be better equipped to say yes.
Be True to My Call
My call to ministry has responsibility attached to it - to be a good steward of my time and gifts.
Know my role and then delegate to others to free me to focus on my portion.

Honor my responsibility to those I minister to by giving them my full attention.
So, how do I say no gracefully and honestly? (Click to Tweet)
When I have a clear sense of my purpose and time needed to accomplish something, I can kindly say something like:

I appreciate your offer to participate with you in this but unfortunately my schedule is full right now.

Thank you for thinking of me, but that isn’t possible with my current responsibilities.

I am so excited to have you join our 13 week program; our next opportunity to join a group is in five weeks. In the meantime, I can suggest some resources…

You get the idea. Just remember, saying NO leaves room for your YES.

You can say no simply, without a lot of explanation. You know what you value. You know what you need to be doing. And, even more important, if you say yes to something you shouldn’t, you are robbing someone else of the opportunity to serve in an area THEY are gifted in.

It's Important to Realize

You're not meant to do it all.

You can't spread yourself so thin that you do a mediocre job. (Click to Tweet)

You must choose the things you feel God is leading in, and give of yourself fully there.

Saying no gives you room to say yes to the important things.

How About You?

Is it difficult for you to say no?

Please share something you've learned in your journey.

Because sometimes NO is the right answer,


 Helpful resources:


  1. Great reminder that the Lord gives us enough time in the day to do what he calls us to and the wisdom to decide what to do and what not to do. I'm reading The Best Yes by Lysa Terkuerst and it goes along perfectly with your article.

  2. Thanks for your thoughts, Melissa. This theme has been running around my head--I've taken a sabbatical from social media to try and still the voices. And, I have also been reading The Best Yes by Lisa Terkheurst.
    There are lots of GOOD things. But, I can't do them all so I need to ask what are HIS BEST things for me to use my gifts and serve my world.

  3. When I worked full time, I always felt overwhelmed. Some days I would remember to pray through my day, "God what do you want me to do first?" or "What do you want me to do next?" When I did, my days were unbelievably productive.

    Now that I am at home, I still need to do that. Otherwise I get caught up in meaningless things and don't do what He's called me to do.

  4. Sherry, I can relate to that also now that I am at home. The day can fly away so quickly. thanks for challenging me in this. My word for this year is Intentional. There are things I have said yes to that I need to be more intentional about each day.

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  6. Jeanne, my word for this year is discipline. I think it's going to be my word for 2015 too!

  7. I SO relate to this post Jeanne!! I am in a season of "no" right I am getting a lot of practice!! With a full time job, my last year of Seminary and a mother with advancing plate is full. I am working with an amazing Christian therapist who is helping me to recognize the difference between trying to be a savior and trying to be a resource. The Savior job has already been done!!

  8. Christine,
    I like "the season of no". We do go through seasons and need to see them as part of the whole. God is never idle--even when we need to be.
    And, yes, the Savior job is filled. Alleluia and Amen!


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