There is no
worse feeling in the world than the need to start over.
I lost
writing files again. Yes—I had backed them up onto a flash drive but had to
temporarily move them back onto my laptop when I needed a clean flash drive. I didn’t get a chance to put things back
before the nasty Trojan decided to hijack my computer and demand a ransom.
Every file was locked—I couldn’t open a thing. “They” gave me 48-hours to pay
up or lose everything.
We don’t
negotiate with terrorists in this house. So, my techie husband wiped the hard
drive clean and began to reinstall everything from the operating system
upwards. It was like getting a brand new laptop. Starting over.
A clean slate can be a good feeling, but it
can be scary when the past is destroyed.
This holds
true for computer files, but even more so for health scares, dissolved
marriages, prodigal children, losing a spouse or the loss of a dream. Looking
forward can feel like being at the edge of a cliff. The past doesn’t look the
same and the future scares us half to death.
I am learning through my computer troubles, I just need to begin again—one step at a time. Do the next thing and trust for the ability to move forward. And, when I realize afresh another file I have lost for good—I deal with the disappointment and loss again. Yet I know that there is a promise that says, “I will do a new thing…” (Isaiah 43:18-19) and I know nothing is ever wasted. I have to trust that all things will work together for good…(Romans 8:28).
Sometimes
the “good” in the middle of the new thing is discovering more about myself,
more about who God is, and gaining empathy for those who may be struggling with
similar losses. I remember God’s word to me saying, “Do not be afraid, I will
go with you” (Deuteronomy 31:6). And, I am realizing I only see a small portion
of a much bigger picture—one that He is stitching together to affect eternity.
Are you at the edge of a cliff? What scares you the most?
Jeanne
"Forget the former things; do not dwell
on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not
perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the
wasteland. Isaiah
43:18-19
Excellent post as always! I'm in a season of both change and loss and like you, I'm discovering the good in what I see as not so good at first! God be praised! Thank you for sharing this part of your journey, Jeanne!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts, Joy. And, as you and I both know, we go through these seasons again and again--growing each time a little more like Him. Not easy--but hindsight gives us glimpses of growth.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your computer troubles, but love the analogy, Jeanne. Thanks for sharing your insight!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping in, Vonda. Computer = Trouble. When things are going well we take so much for granted. But when they fail-oh boy do they cause havoc.
ReplyDeleteI tried to regain my past success in a strange land and God said no.
ReplyDeleteYou said it well. He was doing something new. Something I didn't want...something I had never done before. I had to release the good old days albeit painful, but obedience was expedient!
Today I sing a new song, "I am my Beloved's and He is mine!
"
Margie, thanks for your words. I would love to sit and hear your story over a cup of tea :)
ReplyDeleteDear Jeanne,
ReplyDeleteI tried to regain a former success in a strange land and God said no.
He was doing a new thing but I was still grasping the familiar...the role I once held. Obedience was expedient and i bowed the knee.
Now I sing a new song. "I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mind."